Right now, my life seems to be revolving around pregnancy, Jewish holidays, and the loss of my mother. It's quite a doozy of a combination and I don't quite know what to do with it except take my life day by day, and sometimes, moment by moment.
I'm trying to focus on the future and on my family. Since I got married in the past year, I have done everything I could to keep my family in touch (using my wedding as a starting point). In the past month, after my mother's passing, my family has been even closer. I've heard from family in Israel, Belgium, across this country, and in my own state. It's been wonderful and I really hope it stays this way.
I love writing, but I'm having trouble picking subjects on which to write. They all seem... unimportant somehow.
I'm sure I could write an article on Syria and what I would do if I ran the proverbial zoo (thank you, Dr. Suess); I could write an article on pregnancy and health concerns (hello Lovanox), or I could write an article about the meaning of Sukkot, the transience of it versus the permanence of other things.
Hell, maybe I'll write on all three, but the holidays are ticking closer, arriving in three nights and lasting for three more days. And again, the same thing next week. So my time has been compacted, as well as my 'to-do' list before it's time to light the candles. Without my mom, once again. When I recite her favorite blessing as the flames go up (shehechiyanu).
So this little blog was just fluff... a piece to make me feel better about publishing something before Sukkot. And yet, still, I feel like I'm missing something even as I do so.
I guess it's still my mom.